I think love has everything to do with us feeling a part of something bigger, feeling like we fit into something else perfectly. It doesn't have to be romantic. It can be like a parent's love for a child, or a love for a home, feeling like this other person or animal or place or whatever inhabits a part of us such that, like you said, if something happened, its absence would be like a gap inside ourself. I think with each new thing we love, we reconstruct who we are to include that thing, because we don't only love that thing, but we love what is does to us.
Beautifully said, Connie! I agree that a large part of love is need-based, and that wanting someone to have a place in your life, and you in theirs, is a large part of what it means to love someone.
I have lots of my own thoughts about love, but I don't think they're worth sharing here. What I do recommend, Mike, is that you read the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. (I know that book titles aren't supposed to be put in quotation marks, I just don't know how to italicize text in a Blogger comment.) Peck essentially argues that "falling in love" is just a temporary collapse of our ego boundaries that he calls "cathexis," whereas true love is a conscious extension of those ego boundaries to include another. It's a powerful definition of love that has more than a few kernels of truth. The entire book is very powerful.
Anyway, I hope that you had a great February 14, and I hope that your life has the quality and quantity of love that you so desire!
Thank you for sharing that recommendation, Bob! I looked up the book and it seems right up my alley, so I'm going to make it a priority whenever I can get my hands on a copy. Interesting concepts- they delve into the idea that love requires unselfish actions and sacrifice. I look forward to reading.
I did have a great February 14th, on a number of levels which we ought to discuss!
I think love has everything to do with us feeling a part of something bigger, feeling like we fit into something else perfectly. It doesn't have to be romantic. It can be like a parent's love for a child, or a love for a home, feeling like this other person or animal or place or whatever inhabits a part of us such that, like you said, if something happened, its absence would be like a gap inside ourself. I think with each new thing we love, we reconstruct who we are to include that thing, because we don't only love that thing, but we love what is does to us.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said, Connie! I agree that a large part of love is need-based, and that wanting someone to have a place in your life, and you in theirs, is a large part of what it means to love someone.
DeleteLove is a choice. It is a partnership. It is acceptance. It evolves. It is hard work. It is a gift. It is far too big to sum up with meager words.
ReplyDeleteAll are entirely true. Beginning with choice- one must commit to the person he or she loves!
DeleteI have lots of my own thoughts about love, but I don't think they're worth sharing here. What I do recommend, Mike, is that you read the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. (I know that book titles aren't supposed to be put in quotation marks, I just don't know how to italicize text in a Blogger comment.) Peck essentially argues that "falling in love" is just a temporary collapse of our ego boundaries that he calls "cathexis," whereas true love is a conscious extension of those ego boundaries to include another. It's a powerful definition of love that has more than a few kernels of truth. The entire book is very powerful.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope that you had a great February 14, and I hope that your life has the quality and quantity of love that you so desire!
Thank you for sharing that recommendation, Bob! I looked up the book and it seems right up my alley, so I'm going to make it a priority whenever I can get my hands on a copy. Interesting concepts- they delve into the idea that love requires unselfish actions and sacrifice. I look forward to reading.
DeleteI did have a great February 14th, on a number of levels which we ought to discuss!